Inner Strength Training Tip #36: Balance is key. Participate in the conversation too much you look like your competing. Do too little and you’ll get overshadowed.
Have you ever been at your job before motivated and ambitious? You think you are going to clear the field of any hurdles that stand in your way. However soon afterward the bubble you found your self in is pricked because there’s a new threat on the playing field. Yes.. it’s a new girl..there she is…she’s smart, self-reliant, can think for herself… what are you going to do?
Ok, you already know that to establish yourself as a go-to resource at work you have to actually be a resource.
But this new girl keeps beat you to the punch. She’s already there, exactly where you were going, being the first person in the room to ask questions, she’s curious, that’s right you aren’t the only smart girl on the planet. The only thing is that she’s quicker.
She has more motivation to succeed because she’s fresh and shiny brand new. You, on the other hand, feel about as warn as a pair of old shoes. Even though that’s only in your head 😉
Can you keep up?
Are you noticed?!
What should your next move be?
Signs and symptoms:
- Trying to be supportive but constantly have to reset your mindset so that you feel it
- Stomach drops every time that she raises her hand to ask a really smart question
- You may feel that you have to keep a watch on her (unfortunately)
- She wants nothing to do with your friendship, she’s independent
- Because of her heightened confidence, you feel lesser naturally because you understand the world and how it works and you’ve been through some stuff!
Does this give her the higher ground?
Signs she’s going through a hard time that you don’t know about:
- Always assume you don’t know how people’s lives are when they leave work that day
- Getting interrupted by thoughts as you two speak
- Unable to reply to you when you are speaking (you may think it’s you but really internally she might feel uncomfortable about an aspect of herself)
How to overcome:
Ok, so you are pro-women but no one said it would be THIS tricky to work with another motivated woman. The stakes are really high because there is more competition between women in office settings. Everyone wants a promotion.
The good news is that with a commitment to supporting yourself and other women they can most definitely be overcome. Your mind and heart are advanced and that’s where the commitment needs to be kept.
Your body and biology are catching up and so you will still feel the tension, the “jealous” feelings, etc.
Here are the steps:
- In any kind of setting to stay relevant, you have to make your voice heard
- When this young woman speaks, think of it as an advancement for all women, think of her as a batter in a baseball game every time she speaks. You are on the same team. This helps to reduce tension you may feel and gives an appearance of unity.
- Small talk with this young woman- it’s easy to create the perception that they have no chinks in their armor, but that’s always just a cover-up. If she is at the same ranking as you in the workplace then you know that being a team player is a critical piece to establish during your first 50-90 days.
- Once you can get to know her and feel her out you can learn to work together as a team
- Identify what your own strength is and identify a supporting strength within this woman. Are you a leader? Good with a lot of information? Have amazing assertiveness skills? What about her? Is she a leader? Does she have awesome managerial skills? Is she quick?
Combine the strategies of thinking like you’re on a baseball team, BATTER UP!
With finding the supporting strengths both of you bring to the table. Then, getting to know this woman as well will be the cherry on top because you will probably find that you are similar in a lot of ways. After all you are women and you understand the complexity and emotions that come with that territory.
Now over to you: do you work with women in your office or more so as an individual?