Inner-strength training tip #34: be the change you wish to see in the world. It’s not a joke.
Symptoms: You know when you’re at work and things just seem a little bit out of balance and harmony? All of a sudden the work environment slows down and you look to your left and to your right and wonder these people are on your side or the other person’s side?
You know what I’m talking about?
It all started because you wanted to get the work done, and show off a little, and now there’s a deeply negative feeling and rift around you.
Jealousy is like the cold corpse of a mistress that died long ago.
It’s chilly but burns at the same time. It whispers envy. And now you are scared! （／_＼）
You get the urge to run away. Quit! Or, you get angry that people can be so selfish that you are unable to fully show off your talents! Σ(▼□▼メ)
And when a jealous bind happens at work you are literally cocooned with your co-worker that envies you.
Think you can have a chatty conversation with another one of your co-worker about their weekend plans privately? WRONG. Because your jealous other half is sticking to you like a Siamese twin.ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ
If you try to break free and ignore what is happening your ears will still perk up and hear exactly what they are up to. You are fine-tuned to their voice, their actions and the same is true of you to them.
And now you feel…pain.／(x~x)＼
It’s a deadly dance, one that pierces your heart and mind and prevents you from moving forward the way you want to at work. You are stuck and held up from advancing. This is why some people literally have to get new jobs, because others will try to hold them back.
You can’t even forget about the situation after you leave the office for the day. Your friends and family try to have a conversation with you but you are angry and hurt from what happened earlier.
You try to read the career blogs and Google the symptoms but nothing goes deep enough or caters to YOU specifically. And when your alarm goes off at 5:45 am the next morning, you think about calling out sick.
A dark cloud looms over you and all of your interactions now. (u_u)
Beyond this all too common human scenario that play out to a degree in the workplace, jealously at the office or place of employment is an extremely negative feeling to go through on either side.
And if you agree with what was described at the top it sounds like you experience it for yourself.
It paralyzes you like a prey caught in a spider’s web and suddenly your super powers aren’t as effective as they once were. Someone has turned your charm faucet all the way off.
Amazing employees soon become wallflowers, mums the word, while the instigator is able to climb on their backs to rise and look like the star pupil.
If only the real scenes were uncovered. It’s a shame because you work so hard and should be appreciated for your talents but instead, you are met with this obstacle.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. You are the hero of the story and this is but another test that you will successfully conquer.
The root of the problem is that deep down the other person is insecure. Even if they feel some security about themselves, when it comes to this specific trait you possess like the way you act, your confidence, how you speak up, it could be that they are insecure about their looks, their weight, their intelligence.
They might have had bad experiences at past job. Really gotten beat up emotionally and kicked to the curb, now they are back with vengeance and any perceived slight will set the off. You need to know this.
Know that this other person sees some part of you: mentally, physically, maturity wise, and then looks at themselves in the mirror and sees….lack. Sees someone that should be better then they are.
It’s the ego and it’s humanity in it’s real form.
Only a few brave souls have surpassed this low traits to become a whole person, uniquely themselves.
The rest will try to bring others down and just when you think you have climbed out of the hole and your hand is reaching for the sun, another hand grabs your leg to bring you down again.
While jealous arrows in the form of the other person controlling the entire environment and trying to make sure you get pushed out onto the sidelines where you won’t make anyone feel insecure ever again, instead you can do a couple of things.
First heal yourself by reading words of strength. You might be affected by how you were treated in the office and a variety of emotions will be swirling around you. These can vary from pain, embarrassment, resentment, anger, confusion, doubt, uncertainty and more.
You can not let them affect your time or day by reading a positive social media post that is encourages you to thrive. One that identifies with what you are going through, makes you feel less alone.
Like this post that I randomly stumbled upon on a day where I needed some strength because of a bad interaction with a coworker:
After you feel better go into work the next day and reframe the context of the situation to one where you can improve your inner strength.
This is a golden opportunity to get to know yourself better and enhance your own confidence. Yes through pain comes confidence. Insecurity leads to growth. cc: Bruce Jenner.
Remember that you don’t need to get scared or slump your shoulders each time this person walks by.
In fact try to stand strong and keep your body language confident. Attempt this at least one time in a nonverbal way, let whatever feelings arise between you two hang out there, it will pass momentarily, and don’t get disrupted by feelings of fear.
Not being rattled by presence has a powerful atom bomb effect on others.
If this person happens to be a younger individual, as hard as it is, you must have compassion. For myself, I even have to dig deeper to come up with more patience for younger girls who exhibit this kind of behavior.
Sigh, I was once this kind of girl myself…
(✿ ♥‿♥) payback is lovely isn’t it?
Since words are very powerful you can simply say to the young girl privately that this isn’t how women behave anymore.
There is no reason for jealousy or competition as it just holds everyone back and no one is able to advance from it.
It is much better to partner with each other and to not feel resentful if you see a person who has a trait or unique spin on life that you admire. It’s fun to learn from other people and there really is no harm in it for you or your ego.
If you see jealous behavior at the office and it’s a younger girl be cautious, and if you think this person is just a little misguided and won’t retaliate too harshly or make your life miserable, then try speaking to them and letting them know that female rivalry is on it’s way out the door.
Over to you: How do you deal with jealous binds at the office? Does it still happen at the office or is it on it’s way out?